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TW: Sexual abuse, flashbacks, ptsd Maybe people think I am strong, but I won’t describe myself as such. I am scared, not everyday but I can have intense episodes of fear and tension. This morning, I reflected upon why I am tensed when I interact with some women. I notice a pattern. These women look […]
CW: Description of sexual abuse. Flashback: Warden used to wear her panties while playing on her ipad all day, everyday. She said that she has so many things in her head so she needs to wind down. Thing is, she wind down all day, everyday. She would lay on her stomach in her bedroom and […]
There were times in my life where the only thing that bridges me to life was a pair of ears. I had moments in life where I have brought myself to suicide. Child abuse survivors need a support system. Need consistency. This is about repairing an upbringing. It does not take a day, it does […]
I am so traumatized. It is very easy for my anxious mind to create some absurd realities. Fear-based reality. My mind is alert all the time, almost anxious all the time. I grind my teeth in my sleep, so much that my partner worried if I would break my teeth and the noise disturbs his […]
When I was five years old, Warden used to tickle me on the bed. It got to the point where it felt like a torture. She would tickle me, so hard and so long that I cried beneath my involuntary laughs. She would say, ‘Say I beg for mercy, please’. This memory is very uncomfortable […]
You know, sometimes I wonder if this healing takes a lifetime. I am young, I have dreams and I have plans for my future. I certainly did not plan to have to take an antidepressant, or going in and out of a psychologist’s office. Pills and appointments are not sufficient for my healing. I do […]
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