I have been told that I can reach out. I did reach out. I reached out to my father, to my uncle, to my grandmother, to psychologists. But also I am told to reconstruct myself alone. How? Which one do I follow? I have been dealing with a criminal for as long as I can remember and yet no one is reporting her to the police. No one tried to save me from the abuse. The adults around me were to busy with their own affairs. The adults around me, today, are busy trying to defend themselves. They defend something indefensible.
Is it normal for me to expect that an abuser who has committed crimes be prosecuted? If it is normal then why no one is prosecuting her? Why people try to stop me? What did I do? I never ran over a homeless man in my car, I never abused my mother by forcing her to sleep outside. Why people stop me? Why don’t people stop HER? What is wrong with people I talk to?
She abused her ex husband, committing marriage fraud, kicked me out until I almost got raped and somehow I am the one being told to stop? Stop what? Stop speaking up for myself? Stop standing up to what is right? Stop standing up to justice? Justice is not done alone. It takes more than myself. I almost died, I was so near to death because of Warden and somehow I am told to:
- Move to another city
- Forgive and forget
- Look at the positives
And yet this criminal walk around the city as much as she likes. It is sickening me, truly. It’s despicable. I can’t believe my reality. I can’t believe how messed up this is. I am trying to put myself together, hence this blog entry.
People said they care but .. I have never been saved. I got bruises, again and again, I saw my mother being beaten up, again and again. No one did anything. Where was the adults around me? Where did common sense went? Where were the adults when I needed them the most? They were not there.