DAY 33

I am so traumatized. It is very easy for my anxious mind to create some absurd realities. Fear-based reality. My mind is alert all the time, almost anxious all the time. I grind my teeth in my sleep, so much that my partner worried if I would break my teeth and the noise disturbs his sleep.

I enjoy cognitive therapies. I like identifying my cognitive distortions. One of the most frequent ones is ‘Mind Reading’. I assume those around me think like my Warden. I assume those I deal with think exactly like her. Love is earned and has to be maintained, imperfections can lead to inhumane treatments, etc. The harm Warden caused during my upbringing cannot be underestimated. I am not sure how long this lasts. I am trying my best deal with myself.

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